Finding My Voice and Standing My Ground With a Pushy Doctor’s Officefeatured

Did you know that cancer is a multi-BILLION dollar industry?

Oh yes, it’s a huge money maker for sure.  With that said, cancer doctors and hospitals are in competition with one another for YOUR busine$$.

And to make matters worse, I’ve read that in some cases an Oncologists’ compensation (if not on a fixed income) can mostly be made up of fees earned for prescribing chemotherapy treatment (Check out this article from the National Institute of Health) https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3565179/

With that said…..if you look at treating your cancer like buying a new car, or shopping around for a contractor to renovate your master bathroom and kitchen, I think you will prepare yourself better mentally for what may come.

Its important to remember that YOU are the customer, so YOU are in the drivers seat to choose who gets the honor and privilege to treat your illness.  Even though you feel so helpless, scared out of your mind, and vulnerable at this time……..YOU ARE ACTUALLY THE BOSS.  Remember this.

Would you just walk up to any old car dealership off the street and think that this is the ONLY place on Earth that you can buy a car from? Of course not!!!!! So, don’t settle for the first doctor you talk to or who your doctors initially refer you to.  I’d suggest setting up appointments immediately with at least 2 other cancer facilities to hear what they have to say (once you have your CT Scans and/or MRI’s done)!

In my case, I chose to visit the Cancer Treatment Centers of America in Philly as my 2nd opinion. I had contacted them just after my diagnosis at the suggestion of my Functional Medicine doctor in Michigan (DBC Natural Holistic Health Center).  They explained that this center was more open to integrative medical approaches than conventional cancer hospitals, so I decided to give them a try and hear what they had to say.

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With this foundation and backdrop laid, I’d like to tell you the story about my experience in dealing with an Oncologist at a hospital in central NJ.

The first surgeon I met (16 hours after my diagnosis..which I have written a post about) raved about and INSISTED I meet his colleague Dr. S.

He knew I was not in favor of getting Chemotherapy……and he was sure this doctor could convince me otherwise.  So, he took it upon himself to reach out to her and try to get me an appointment ASAP.

My colonoscopy was Thursday December 14th, and I met this surgeon early morning on December 15th. I was contacted later in the afternoon on December 15th and an appointment had been made for me with this oncologist for December 21st.  I was supposed to call and confirm……but you know what? I didn’t.

You know why? I’ll tell you!

I was mentally and emotionally EXHAUSTED, I was FRIGHTENED, I was ANGRY, and I was NOT SURE yet what type of cancer therapy I was going to use: 100% Alternative, 100% Conventional, or a bit of both.

My emotional and physical world was an absolute tornado at this point. I was swirling around in mid-air without a clear direction. THAT is what I felt like.

For so many years I had gone the naturopathic route regarding my health…..and I had read countless websites and articles about how horrible and poisonous chemotherapy was. I was trying my hardest to AVOID going this route, and now I was coming face to face with it. I felt like a poor cow being led to the slaugtherhouse….and I felt like I was being pushed into accepting this and drinking the Chemo flavored Kool Aid, so I was PISSED OFF and was rebelling a bit.

I got a follow-up call from Dr. S’s office on December 18th. This person left me a voicemail and said…this is a 2nd call…. you have not confirmed yet, so let us know if you want to cancel so we can give this appointment to a patient in need.

I just did NOT want to go to this appointment, but I did call back and told them I felt this was too soon.

I explained that I had not even had my required CT Scan and MRI done yet…….so what were we going to talk about exactly? There are no results to discuss tangibly. I wanted to reschedule for January 8th after my tests would be completed.

The person I was talking to was trying to push me into keeping my December 21st appointment…..and was giving me a hard time about moving it to January 8th. She said that I’d feel sooooooooo much better if I just sat down with her.  However, I kept insisting that I want to talk about REAL and CONCRETE things about MY case….once I get the tests and data back. I don’t need to discuss theory.

I felt like I was talking to customer service and trying to get out of a cable or cell phone contract before the end of my contract term……when they just won’t take NO for an answer!

Was she trying to earn a commission or get some kind of year-end bonus through my visit? The sales pitch was just a bit TOO hard for my taste.

This kept going on for a bit longer…….then I finally said: “Look, I’m not going to die in the next few weeks……so let’s set it for January 8th, OK”?  Finally, she did book that appointment and the call was over. SHEEEESH!

I thought to myself…..how dare you hassle someone who was just freshly diagnosed with cancer like this? What kind of people ARE you?

Well, the tone from that phone call carried over to my actual visit with this doctor January 8th.

I attended this meeting alone, and again….my goal was to get information and hear what they had to say. They had seen my MRI and CT Scan results already, so now we could actually talk about facts.

I walked in and met the doctor (after my blood pressure and other vitals were taken, of course).

I went through my long history going back to when I had food poisoning on a business trip in Columbia….to having stool tests done in 2015 with my functional medicine doctor in Michigan which revealed a rogue bacterial infection (Klebsiella Pneumonae), to having blood in my stool for a long time, to the present pains during my last business trip in Russia.

She took very detailed notes for about 20 minutes and then sat down next to me to discuss how staging works for rectal cancer. The information was the same I had already heard from the surgeon.

Then, she said she looked at my MRI and placed me in stage 3…..or better yet borderline stage 4. Several lymph nodes appeared to be impacted and the MRI report was not conclusive if the tumor had already penetrated outside the immediate area.  She looked very serious, and her tone was hardly hopeful.

I asked her what her success rate was with my type and stage of cancer, and she looked at me as if I had horns growing out of my head! She replied…..”everyone is different”. She never answered the question.

She then walked me through her protocol for treating stage 3/4 rectal cancer.

The ONLY option presented to me was to put a port into my chest, and to follow a regimen called FOLFOX…..a mix of two different chemo drugs that would be given via infusion for 2 hours, and then I’d have to drag around a bag of chemo in a pouch and deliver it for two additional days into my port.  This would be done for 8 cycles two weeks apart. Then, there would be chemo and radiation following that for 5 1/2 weeks, THEN surgery.

When she showed me a sample of the port I almost fainted.  I pictured myself as a Cyborg walking around like a Chemo zombie with a bag of this crazy liquid in my Louis Vuitton purse.

I know my face was hardly amused.

I said………”um, I really don’t want that”. She said this was the gold standard approach to treating cancer and anyone who says otherwise is not following standards.  Then she reminded me that I had Stage 3 cancer…… and that it is not a joke!

I thought to myself…”Gee thanks honey for making me feel like I’ve got no chance at all”.

I told her that I was getting a second opinion at the Cancer Treatment Center of America the following day……and that is when she and her side kick nurse went OFF.

They both rolled their eyes…..and the doctor said to her nurse, “Um you want to take this one? I can’t, I can’t”.

The nurse went on to say that they heard bad stories about them, that they did unnecessary CT Scans after every cycle of chemo to make more money……..etc, etc.

I was apauled and disgusted at their commentary. How unprofessional this was!

The final straw came when I mentioned that I am working with a functional medicine doctor in Michigan……and would they be willing to work with them during my treatment, as I intended to stay on my supplements to boost my immune system through any type of conventional treatment?

Dr. S said their pharmacy would evaluate all of the supplements that this functional medicine doc was giving me and THEY would decide if I could use it or not.

But…..the red blood cell support I was on, she did not advocate because she said these are usually high in iron and it could make me more constipated than I already was.

I explained that I was put on that supplement after my cancer diagnosis because a blood test showed I was anemic. These pills made me feel better and my dizziness/lightheadedness was much better since taking them.

My explanation didn’t matter (in other words how I actually felt didn’t matter)…….she did not support them.

I wanted to body slam her against the wall. I was furious.

I got up out of my chair and said, ok thanks!

This was the most horrible doctors appointment I had ever had. I felt so disrespected and dismissed.

As I walked out, my inner voice was saying….. “and you want me to pick YOU as my Oncologist! Keep DREAMING.…”

Needless to say I never went back.

A few days later, I received an email looking for written feedback of my visit with that doctor, and boy did I let them have it.

I documented everything I’ve just shared and added: “If you think this is the way to earn my business, you are sadly mistaken”.

I was so happy that I had another cancer center to turn to and consult with. My experience at the Cancer Treatment Centers of America was very different…..which I will share in a future post.

Just remember you have choices as a cancer patient……and YOU are in charge!  If you don’t like the protocol being presented to you, there may be another facility that does things a bit differently. Never hurts to ask.